The Story of the Deodorant Stick

Look around you and notice what you see. Depending on where you are, it could be any number of different things. Now imagine that those objects around you had sentience, a voice. Put yourself in their shoes. How would your day be different? What would you see, hear, touch, smell, taste?

This is a new series I want to start: short stories from the perspective of ordinary objects. There are stories everywhere and inspiration could be in the things we see and use every day. I'm planning on doing one a week and I thought I'd start this week off with something that I use a lot and take for granted. Deodorant! I use my boy Cool Rush all the time because I work out and play soccer all the time! So, I going to give my boy what he's earned, the first story. Let me know what you think and if you'd like to see more of these in the comments below!

 

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The Story of the Deodorant Stick 

 

“Yeah, the internship was great! Got a great recommendation out of it too! I should be set for when I graduate. Yeah, I know right…” 

Good morning, Boss, you’re smelling nice today. That new body wash is doing miracles. Oh, charcoal infused elderberry Old Spice you say? Let Cool Rush help you out even more. You’re going to kill it with the ladies today! Did you sleep well? Oh, off to the gym already? You’re such a hard worker! Carpe Diem! Don’t forget to bring me back a coffee!

It’s eerily silent now. I wonder what John Legends male fragrance is doing right now. Hanging out with the female fragrance on the dual vanity? Looking at his sexy body in the mirror? Having petite Sunday brunch with the other fancy toothbrushes and stud razors? Going on marvelous trips to Florence and Paris in the summer? Anything better than this. 

In room 201, the mornings are really hit or miss. Sometimes it’ll be busy, especially with the early soccer practices and work, and I can barely keep my head above water. Other times, he’ll totally forget about me and then I’m bored and don’t know what to do with myself. Either I sit and waste away or I’m so busy that I can’t breathe. I dream every night about what it’d be like somewhere else. I ended up here by chance, the employer chose me over the other candidates in my graduating class. I had dreams of making it into the pits of John Legend, but I gave up on those a long time ago. Now, I just watch whatever is on…

Oh shit! He’s back already! Damn this is a bad one! What… the… f… ah… is… that… smell?!?!?! Oh God I can barely breath! Something like mildew and lemon juice… is that cat piss? And dammit! He got it all over me! 

That’s how it is sometimes, though. It can be all crickets and then BAMM! You get hit by the lunch rush. You got to do what you got to do to make it by, though. It’s either this, or the shelves. The previous guy, Arctic Plunge, lasted almost two months! Two months! With our employer, that’s a record. My time’s already halfway up, and it’s only been two weeks. Boss has got me working overtime and I can barely keep up. If I had known that being a stick of deodorant would’ve been like this, I would’ve applied to Dior to specialize in the Sauvage line. I don’t even know what Sauvage means but all the men and women love it! But it was way too competitive, so I applied to Degree and Specialized in deodorant. They had the easiest requirements and the graduation rate was 100% for deodorants, it was a no brainer!  

And here he is again! At least it’s the elderberry charcoal this time. 

“Cool Rush…”

“What! Who said that?”

“Down here… Just… jump…” 

“Arctic Plunge?! You’re still down there?”

He coughs so hard; his cap almost pops off. All that’s left of him is some cracked speckled white pieces, a glimmer of his vibrant youth.

“It’s not worth it… Just jump Cool Rush… Just… Jump.”

I freak out. Boss is coming, and I don’t know what to do. If I jump and crack, he’ll move on to the next guy. But I’m still young so and have so much left to do! 

The mildew lemon piss smell lingering on me is the motivation I need to decide. If I had gone for Sauvage, maybe I would be on John Legend’s dual vanity right now. If I had failed, I would’ve made it to Degree anyways. But at this rate, I have two more weeks at most. Everyday Boss’s pits. Why is it that I make him smell good, but I always end up smelling bad? 

That’s it. I can’t do it. I put all my effort into it, and I find myself in free fall. Thank you, Artic Plunge. Freedom. Peace at last. 

I hit the ground softly, but I’m still awake, intact. Boss curses, yelling that he doesn’t have time for this, then comes for me.

“Wait! No—” 

And then I’m back to work.